Cheers to Tears

Understanding Narcissistic Behaviors: Traits and Insecurities

Who Do Narcissists Date? Dating can be a complicated and tricky process, but it can become even more complex when dealing with a narcissist.

Narcissists tend to see relationships as a way to fulfill their self-interest, maintain their sense of superiority, and boost their own egos. In this article, we will examine why and how narcissists act the way they do, and what traits they seek out in potential partners.

Narcissist’s Search for Partner to Boost Ego and Sense of Self-Importance

Narcissists tend to seek out partners who can provide them with an ego boost and make them feel important. They often target people who are attractive, successful, or have a high social status, as these partners can help them boost their own perceived levels of status and superiority.

Attractive and successful partners can also be used as a status symbol for the narcissist. They may enjoy showing off their partner, using them as a way to prove to others that they are worthy of admiration and attention.

Moreover, a partner’s accomplishments can reflect positively on the narcissist, making them feel like they are part of that success.

Submissive and Codependent Partners as Means of Control

Narcissists also tend to seek out partners who are submissive and codependent. These types of partners are easier to control and manipulate, enabling the narcissist to maintain their sense of power and domination in the relationship.

A codependent partner is often willing to cater to the whims of the narcissist, making them feel needed and in control. Narcissists may manipulate their partners by withholding love and affection, giving them the silent treatment, or using gaslighting techniques to make them feel like they are crazy.

These tactics effectively erode their partner’s self-esteem and self-worth, making them more dependent on the narcissist for validation. Narcissist’s Prioritization of Own Needs

Narcissists prioritize their own needs above all else, including their partner’s.

They may expect their partner to cater to their every need and display a high degree of entitlement. Narcissistic partners may not participate in household chores or consider their partner’s emotional needs, as they consider themselves too important and valuable to engage in everyday responsibilities.

Infidelity as Narcissist’s Self-Interest

Narcissists may also view infidelity as a way to fulfill their self-interest. They may cheat on their partner as a means of fulfilling their desires for attention and validation.

Infidelity allows them to feel that they are desired by others. It also gives them a sense of power and control over their partner, as they are breaking an unspoken agreement of exclusivity.

Difficulty with Genuine Connections Due to Lack of Empathy and Manipulation

Narcissists often struggle to form genuine connections with their partners due to their lack of empathy and manipulation tactics. They may only see their partners as objects to be used for their own gratification and validation, rather than individuals with their own thoughts and feelings.

Narcissists may engage in love-bombing tactics in the beginning of the relationship, showering their partner with compliments, gifts, and attention. However, this behavior is often solely for their own benefit, and once they have secured their partner’s attention, they often revert to their usual selfish behavior.

Transactional Nature of Relationships for Narcissists

Narcissists view relationships as transactional in nature, meaning they are constantly analyzing what they are gaining from the relationship. Narcissists may view their partner as a means to an end, looking for ways to extract as much as they can from the partnership, such as emotional validation or financial support.

In conclusion, dating a narcissist can be a difficult experience, as they tend to prioritize their own needs and view relationships as transactional in nature. They often seek out partners who can provide them with an ego boost and be easily manipulated to maintain their sense of superiority.

Understanding the traits narcissists seek out in partners can be helpful in avoiding potentially toxic relationships. Can a Narcissist Truly Love Their Partner?

Love is a complex emotion that involves caring for and prioritizing another person’s needs and emotions. While a narcissist may claim to love their partner, the reality is that their feelings are often shallow and self-serving in nature.

Narcissists are primarily concerned with their own needs and desires, making it difficult for them to form genuine connections with others. Here, we’ll examine the challenges with narcissistic love and how it differs from healthy love.

Shallow and Self-Serving Nature of Narcissist’s Feelings

A narcissist’s love is often superficial and based on their partner’s ability to fulfill their own needs. They may base their affections on their partner’s physical appearance, social status, or personality traits that they find appealing.

Since their focus is on what their partner can offer, rather than who they are as a person, their feelings tend to be very shallow. Narcissists may also view their partners as extensions of themselves, rather than individuals deserving of love and respect.

They may use their partner as a tool to elevate their own status, make themselves feel important, or maintain a sense of superiority. Therefore, their concept of love is more transactional and self-centered.

Conditional and Self-Centered “Love”

Since narcissists only view their partner’s ability to fulfill their own needs, their love is often conditional. They may be affectionate and attentive when their partner is meeting their expectations, but indifferent or even hostile when their partner is not behaving according to their wishes.

Moreover, their love is often focused on their own need for emotional validation, rather than on their partner’s well-being. They may become jealous or aggressive when their partner has other forms of emotional connection or attention from other people.

Difficulty with Genuine Understanding and Care for Partner’s Needs and Emotions

Narcissists struggle with genuine understanding and care for their partner’s needs and emotions. They tend to lack empathy and view emotions as weaknesses, leading them to avoid emotional vulnerability.

Narcissists may dismiss, belittle or ignore their partner’s emotions, which can make their partner feel unloved, unsupported, and invalidated. In addition, a narcissist’s self-centered nature limits their ability to prioritize their partner’s needs and feelings.

They may not be willing to modify their own behavior or actions to accommodate their partner’s emotional needs, making it difficult for a true emotional bond to form.

Love Bombing as Narcissistic Abuse Tactic

Narcissists may use love bombing as a manipulation technique to control their partner. Love bombing is an excessive display of affection, attention, and adoration frequently done early in the relationship.

Though sometimes love bombing comes out a sense of excitement in the early stages of weeks or months, it is a common tactic that cruel partners use to create a rapid and intense attachment to their victim. Constant Attention, Praise, and Gift-Giving to Make Victim Feel Special

Love bombing typically takes the form of showering their partner with attention, compliments, and gifts.

They may be in constant communication, send frequent flowers and write loving notes. This over-the-top behaviour aims to make their partner feel desired, valued and exceptional.

Excessive Flattery and Rapid Intimacy to Create Sense of Connection

The excessive flattery and rapid intimacy create a false sense of connection and security. When people experience these behaviours, it is difficult to not feel overjoyed and accepted by your partner.

These behaviours often result in feeling understood and validated by your partner.

Constant Communication as Ploy for Control

Narcissists may use constant communication as a means of controlling their partner. They may repeatedly reach out to maintain control of the relationship, filling their partner’s time and space to not allow their partner to have a life outside of them.

This behaviour gives the narcissist the upper hand in the relationship, where they dominate the lines of communication.

Making Victim Feel Like Only Person Who Can Understand and Validate Them

The narcissist may also work hard to make their partner believe they are uniquely devoted and invested in their happiness. Over time, the narcissist will use their tactics of love bombing less and less, controlling their partner’s environment for their own purposes.

Still, the victimized partner clings to this initial image of their now-abusive partner and may go on to make excuses for their abusive behaviour, such as the belief that they are changing for the better or that their partner may be “misunderstood.”

In conclusion, through love bombing, narcissistic abusers can make victims feel special and validated, but the reality is that love bombing is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation. Narcissistic love is often conditional, self-centered, and lacks genuine understanding and care for the partner’s needs and emotions.

Knowing these warning signs can help to avoid toxic relationships and encourage healthy, equal partnerships based on mutual love and respect.

Narcissistic Styles and Their Inherent Insecurities

Narcissism is a personality trait that encompasses a wide range of behaviors, from grandiose self-importance to vulnerable emotional needs. Understanding the different patterns of narcissistic behavior can provide insight into their inherent insecurities and how they manifest.

Grandiose Narcissism’s Inflated Sense of Self-Importance and Lack of Empathy

Grandiose narcissism is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, an exaggerated perception of their skills, abilities, and accomplishments. They may appear boastful, entitled, and arrogant, making it challenging to relate to and empathize with others.

Grandiose narcissists tend to view themselves as superior to others and crave attention and adoration. They may devalue or belittle others who fail to acknowledge their accomplishments or whose behavior threatens their sense of power and control.

In addition, grandiose narcissists often lack empathy, causing them to disregard the feelings and needs of those around them. They may have little understanding or consideration of how their actions affect others.

Vulnerable Narcissism’s Need for Constant Validation and Emotional Drain

Vulnerable narcissism typically emerges from experiences of being mistreated or ignored resulting in a deep need to be validated. They may appear more sensitive and insecure than grandiose narcissists, making it difficult to get close to them.

Vulnerable narcissists have a strong need to be appreciated and validated. They may seek this validation through their work, relationships, or achievements.

However, their need for validation can often be draining to those closest to them, leading to emotional exhaustion. Despite their emotional need for validation, vulnerable narcissists may struggle with intimacy, as they often fear rejection or abandonment.

This leads to a pattern of seeking validation, then withdrawing when they feel too vulnerable or exposed. Malignant Narcissism’s Combination of Grandiose and Vulnerable Behaviors

Malignant narcissism is a combination of both grandiose and vulnerable narcissistic behaviors, making it a particularly dangerous pattern of behavior.

Malignant narcissists can be exceptionally manipulative, exploitative, and even sadistic. Malignant narcissists typically exhibit a sense of grandiosity and entitlement.

They demand constant attention and admiration and may become aggressive or hostile if these demands are not met. Simultaneously, they may feel victimized or misunderstood, which leads to self-pity and resentment.

Malignant narcissists may display a lack of empathy and may exploit others for their own benefit. They may disregard the consequences of their actions and feel justified in their actions to achieve their goals.

Spectrum of Narcissistic Behaviors and Relationship Potential

Narcissism exists on a spectrum, and the severity of behavior can vary. While extreme cases of narcissism can be very problematic, mild to moderate forms of narcissism may even have some potential to form a fulfilling relationship.

For instance, mild forms of narcissism can be linked to high self-esteem and confidence, traits that can be beneficial in building a successful relationship. These individuals may be more likely to engage in assertive communication, improve problem-solving skills, and promote their partner’s interests.

However, severe forms of narcissism can lead to problematic patterns of behavior. This includes controlling behavior, gaslighting, and even abusive tactics.

Likelihood of Narcissist Cheating

Cheating on a partner is a complex behavior that can have many motives, including seeking emotional validation, fulfilling unmet needs, or simply seeking thrill and excitement. Narcissistic individuals may be particularly prone to cheating based on their inherent need for ego gratification, validation, and their ability to justify their actions.

Shameless Cheating If It Benefits Narcissist’s Ego or Emotional Needs

A narcissist may cheat if it benefits their ego or emotional needs. For instance, if the narcissist feels neglected or underappreciated by their partner, they may cheat to feel more valued or desirable.

They may also cheat to enhance their reputation or gain a sense of power and control over their partner. Narcissist’s Perception of Getting Away With It and Unmet Needs as Motivators for Cheating

A narcissist may also be motivated to cheat based on their perception of getting away with it.

Narcissists may believe they are immune to consequences and may be more likely to engage in risky behavior as a result. Moreover, they may cheat out of a sense of entitlement or unmet needs.

High-Intensity Situations and Infidelity as Avenues for Narcissistic Thrill

Finally, some narcissists may be motivated by the thrill of cheating, particularly in high-intensity situations that provide an opportunity for them to engage in forbidden or exciting behaviors. They may enjoy the rollercoaster ride of risk-taking, acutely aware of the potential for excitement and danger.

In conclusion, narcissism is a complex personality trait characterized by a wide range of behaviors that can affect their relationships. Understanding the inherent insecurities of narcissistic styles can help understand why they behave the way they do.

Though some forms may have potential for a healthy relationship, when severe, the likelihood of cheating, narcissistic abuse, and problematic patterns of behavior increase. In conclusion, the articles covered here provide valuable insights into narcissistic behaviors, tendencies, and insecurities.

Narcissistic personalities often prioritize their own needs and desires, leading to problematic patterns of behavior such as cheating, manipulation, or abuse. However, knowing these warning signs can help us avoid toxic relationships and seek out healthy, equal partnerships based on mutual love and respect.


Q: Can a narcissist change their behavior? A: It is possible for some narcissists to change their behavior with the help of therapy but is not guaranteed.

Q: What is the difference between grandiose and vulnerable narcissism? A: The primary difference between grandiose and vulnerable narcissism is that grandiose narcissism manifests in a superiority complex, while vulnerable narcissism is rooted in insecurity and emotional neediness.

Q: Is love bombing always a sign of narcissistic abuse? A: Love bombing isn’t always indicative of narcissistic abuse, but it is often utilized as a tactic to manipulate and control victims.

Q: What is malignant narcissism? A: Malignant narcissism is a combination of grandiose and vulnerable narcissistic behaviors, making for an exceptionally

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