Cheers to Tears

Beware of the Niceness: Signs of Manipulative People

Recognizing Manipulative People Who Pretend to be Nice

Have you ever come across someone who appeared to be friendly, but something didn’t feel right? It’s possible that you were dealing with a manipulative person who only pretended to be nice to get what they want.

Manipulation is a tactic used by people to control and manipulate others for their own benefit. If you don’t keep your eyes open, you could fall prey.

Here are some red flags to look out for:

1. Love Bombing

Manipulative individuals will shower you with love and affection, making you feel like the most important person in the world.

They’ll flatter you, shower you with gifts, and treat you like royalty. However, they’re only doing this in order to gain your trust and respect.

Once they have you under their influence, they’ll reveal their true colors. This manipulation tactic is commonly used in cults.

The leaders of the cult will surround you with love, support, and attention, making you feel like you’ve found your “family.” But in reality, you’re just another tool to be used for their benefit. 2.

Pretending to Like the Same Things as You (Even if They Don’t)

Manipulators will try to learn about your likes, goals, and desires so that they can use them against you. They’ll pretend to like the same things you do to gain your trust and manipulate you.

They may even feign interest in a particular subject to make you believe they’re more like you. 3.

Playing the Victim

Manipulators often avoid taking personal responsibility by blaming others for their problems. They may try to make you feel guilty for something that isn’t your fault.

They’ll claim to be a victim of an unfair situation to gain your sympathy and use it to control you. 4.

Making You Feel Guilty

Manipulators are skilled at guilt-tripping. They use your compassion against you by making you feel like you’ve done something wrong, even if you haven’t.

One-sided relationships where you’re always apologizing is a sign of manipulation. The perpetrator will use your apologies as a leverage to control you.

5. Using Your Weaknesses Against You

Manipulative people will extract your weaknesses and use them against you.

They’ll try to make you feel ashamed of your shortcomings to control you. They’ll belittle you, undermine your confidence, and keep you dependent on their approval.

6. Being Strategically Nice

Manipulative people will behave intermittently, making you not understand what is going on, this old trick is known as “sometimesy” people.

They’ll behave nicely towards you when they need your help or want something from you, but when they achieve their goals, they’ll start behaving negatively towards you.


Gossiping with You

Manipulative people might share salacious gossip with you. Making you respect their openness, they’ll use your weaknesses against you to bond with you.

By doing so, they can build an intimate relationship with you while you are too blinded to know that it’s an unhealthy relationship. 8.

Making Fake Plans with You

Manipulative people might express excitement and enthusiasm toward a plan/project, but later won’t follow through as promised. This type of manipulation is aimed at getting what they want from you while giving nothing in return.

Protecting Yourself from Manipulative People

It’s essential that you protect yourself from manipulative people. Here are some ways to do so:


Have an Honest Discussion

If you suspect that someone is manipulating you, it’s crucial that you have an honest discussion with them. Bring up the manipulation tactics you’ve observed, and address them.

Be receptive to their response, and go from there. 2.

Making a Decision About the Future of Your Relationship

If you’re convinced that a person is actively manipulating you, it’s time to make a decision. Will you continue the relationship with that person, or distance yourself?

Perhaps, ending the relationship will be your best choice. 3.

Recognizing Patterns of Manipulative Behavior

It’s easy to fall prey when you don’t know what to look for. Read, understand, and recognize the patterns of manipulative behavior.

Research shows that education helps reduce the likelihood of manipulation. Awareness and identifying this behavior can help you stay safe.


In conclusion, manipulation is a common tactic used by people to control and manipulate others for their benefit. Look out for signs that someone is manipulating you and take action to protect yourself if you feel that you are being manipulated.

Remember to maintain healthy boundaries and focus on relationships that support your best interests. By doing so, you can lead a fulfilling life while avoiding the traps of manipulative people.

In conclusion, being able to recognize manipulative people who pretend to be nice is crucial to protecting yourself from emotional and psychological harm. By staying aware of the warning signs and taking action to address manipulative behavior, you can avoid falling prey to individuals who seek to control and manipulate you for their benefit.

Remember, maintaining healthy boundaries and relationships that support your best interests is key to leading a fulfilling life.



What are some signs of love bombing?

Answer: Love bombing can manifest as excessive flattery, attention, and affection to gain your trust and respect.

2. How can I protect myself from a manipulative person?

Answer: Have an honest discussion with the person, make a decision about the future of your relationship, and recognize patterns of manipulative behavior to stay aware and protect yourself. 3.

Why do manipulative people pretend to like the same things as you?

Answer: Manipulators use your likes, goals, and desires against you to gain your trust and manipulate you for their benefit.

4. What is guilt-tripping?

Answer: Guilt-tripping is a manipulation tactic used by manipulative people to use your compassion against you by making you feel like you’ve done something wrong. 5.

How can I avoid being manipulated by a fake friendship?

Answer: Identify patterns of manipulation, maintain healthy boundaries, and focus on relationships that support your interests to avoid fake friendships.

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